I'm such a small ant!

I've had so many conversations lately of people not knowing where to head, directionless, life seeming too big and possibly having to end up settling. I hate it. I deal with it too sometimes. Where situations seem too overwhelming. Trying to take it into my own hands but realizing it's way heavier than I can even carry then left being stressed, sick, and tired. It's not how we were meant to live. And we actually don't have to, thankfulllly!

Last month I went back to Chicago in that very state... ready to give up and throw in the towel and just be normal and do something easy. I wrote down every problem that I had in my life. Literally everything I could think of...it was long. Finally after doing that and looking at it for awhile God asked me...."What's the problem here? I don't really see a problem." I realized I was looking at it all from the wrong perspective. If I saw it all from His view (a WAY birds-eye view BTW) it seemed pretty miniscule. Allllll already taken care of, provided for, wiped clean. He wasn't sitting up there going "Dang Sarah...yeah you got yourself quitttee the problems there..not sure how we're gonna figure this one out." No!!! He is holding it all yet I'm trying to be like..."Nah, I can carry it!!" How ridiculous does that even sound??

If instead of freaking out in every situation we sat down looked at things clearly removing crazy emotions and had God show us his perspective, how much easier would everything go!? We would be so much more peaceful, have so much more direction, and literally nothing would be too hard! How weird to think that that's actually possible.

Think of other things in life that you literally don't worry about cause you already know it's a small issue. It doesn't worry you a bit. Like how you're going to swim to the other side of the pool...well that used to be HUGE at one point! God has already conquered it all and for us as well. So how much simpler to see it as already conquered!!

If you look at Jesus' life...He ALWAYS had God's perspective on things. He was always bigger than every situation. Nothing stumped him. Why can't that be ours as well?

Let's stop being ants trying to run through a maze never being able to figure out our way, with a huge load on our backs as well, and rise above by asking God for His perspective in each area! He'll show you and you can soar above it! Get up off that ground!! It's litterally NO BIG DEAL!!!

Investing your kisses.

I'm sitting here this morning looking out the window and just thinking... thinking about life and love and everything else that comes across my mind...
Of course being a girl, though, it always seems to wander to the more romantic side of life... dating, kissing for the first time, getting married... ya know the normal stuff;)
Sitting here contemplating all this I was thinking, "why?" Why am I keeping myself for my husband? Why am I not dating every guy that comes across my path? Why am I not making out with random guys...? Why?
It's not like it says not to in the bible... it's just not super clear about all of that unfortunately!
Yes, it says to live in purity... but what is defined as purity? Especially in our day and age compared to theirs?
So thinking about why... I realized that it all goes back to vision. For me in my life I know that if I have a purpose and vision guiding me I'm going to say no to opportunities that come my way that don't line up with that or are distracting... it keeps me on course and it's the most direct path to what I am called to do! I have a view on the future and that is going to give me permission to say no, now. Even though it may be hard I know that the future outcome is worth it.
I feel it's the same in relationships and the physical sides of them, also. If my goal is a strong healthy marriage without a ton of baggage or hurts from the past what can I say no to now to get to that place? (Not saying that you can't have a great marriage and have a lot of baggage from the past cause there is always grace and redemption... but if I can make the choice now to not have to go through all of that... now's the time to choose!)

Dating just for the heck of dating... I would LOVE to go out and date someone right now... it'd be so fun.. I get some nice attention and I get that "guy" spot in me filled for awhile! It be a blast! But in the long run what's it for? To satisfy my needs right now. Bad investment of time and energy-emotionally and physically. It's like a mini divorce in the end.
Kissing just for the heck of kissing... Gosh that would be nice if some guy that I kinda liked just came wrapped his arms around me picked me up and kissed me... it'd be so amazing. For that minute. Annnddd a couple minutes after of course....
But what about thinking about that same kiss when I'm going to kiss my future husband for the first time and starting to compare the two... and all that mess? Not a good investment for my original goal.
Same for everything else in between... as far as sleeping with someone... not a good investment for the end goal. Obviously.
All these things develop emotional and physical ties to these people as well as terrible heartbreak that can mostly be avoided if we have our eyes on the future...

What is an investment? Something that you put away right now...so that it can be even bigger and greater in the future.
All these things that I am saving are investments that I am putting into a "long term investment fund" for my marriage. Yeah it's hard! It's crazy hard sometimes.
But in the end if you really look at it obviously most of the world has not been thinking about their investments much if most of the marriages are ending these days...
So I'm ready to change that statistic. And hold these things so precious... not being the lazy servant but the wise one. Having an eye for the future and not just the NOW pleasures.

Matt 25:14-28
It will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

The Source.

Wow. I’m sorry I’ve neglected this blog for so long. Looking at the date of when I last posted I understand as I started teaching photography internships then throughout the summer pretty non stop. Finally getting time to reflect over the year and see what God has done has given me inspiration to write again! Hopefully there will be more posts in the next couple weeks as well!

Well, this past 6 months or so has been like no other in my life. I had close to 20 interns that came and lived with me for 10 days to learn everything about how to start their company, it was amazing time as I hosted 6 internships throughout the summer. Late nights, early mornings, long deep talks, ect. I definitely get pumped up from all of that..but it is constant pouring out all of who you are...which can be draining sometimes.

After the internships came to a close I started hanging out with a new group of friends! Growing up homeschooled and then starting my business very young I never really had a group of people that I would just hang out with...that was more what I would do with my family.

I got SO excited about this whole new experience that I literally wanted to hang out ALL the time. And we did! Ha! After awhile though and the “honeymoon” phase started dying down. I came to realize that I was completely drained in every area: physically-cause we were staying up SO late all the time; emotionally-cause I wasn’t around anyone that I had known for a long time; spiritually-cause I was putting all the fun times first before God and not making Him a priority at all; and even business wise I kinda checked out cause I was so worn out from the summer.

Finally, I was starting to feel the pressure of all this...and went to God. Duh! Can’t believe we do that once the heat turns out...rather than when everything is fine! It’s completely backwards!
He really ministered to me about first to inspect the walls(boundaries) in my life to see if I had let any get torn down or corrupted. To not open any door to the enemy in my life. Not even a crack. Also, he showed me that if I really want to see His signs and wonders and miracles in my life and others...I can keep hoping and hoping...but if a cord is hoping for power but is laying on the ground not plugged in, no matter how much it hopes for it it won’t get power until it’s PLUGGED IN! Whoa! What a concept! ha! He was showing me that I simply need to stay SO connected to Him and His spirit. To not ignore it. That yeah I can have these fun times and all but to never put him on the back burner through it all otherwise these, fruitful times won’t ever happen. They’ll stay purposeless useless...but fun times.

I was trying to draw strength from myself to be able to impact people. But that can only last so long until you burn out. Staying connected to that outlet(God) constantly...you can keep pouring out and overflowing all the time...and HE gives you the strength to do it! And keeps those walls intact too!! Sooo today....inspect those walls in your life, don’t open the door to the enemy. And STAY PLUGGED IN to THE Source! I love you all!!

Shoes.

Something that has been coming up in a lot of conversations lately and came up again yesterday at church... is faithfulness. Being a good steward.
I think it's something that gets looked over A LOT of the time as we are so focused on just getting things done. I was talking to one of my best friends, Sarah Chellappa, the other day and she is studying world religion. She was sharing with me that in Hinduism they believe that everything they have is from god. So they treat it so well, they don't throw their stuff around but believing that it is from god or is a god they treat it with the utmost care.
I started to think, why don't we do that?? I take soooo much of what God has given me for granted and not been a very faithful steward with my: finances, time, friends, my stuff, etc...
I heard a story years ago from a highly succesful guy names Peter Daniels. Basically when he was little he wasn't given much hope for his future whatsoever, told by his teachers that he would never amount to anything he started believing. Then in his late 20s when he was illeterate he decided that is NOT the way he wanted to live anymore... he taught himself to read and started making just little changes in his life, being faithful with the very little he was given. It was as basic as putting his shoes back in the closet exactly where they belonged. On his way to work about 45 min into the drive he realized that he hadn't put his shoes in the closet and litterally turned around and went back to do it. THAT is how disciplined he had to be with himself being faithful in the small but that discipline and trustworthiness poured over into so many other parts of his life that now he's either a multi millonaire or billionaire in Australia...just from taking those small steps in the beginning.
Whether it is putting your shoes back in your closet, making your bed in the morning, doing what you say you are going to do, or not buying that outfit that you don't realllly need.
I've always wondered why the rich keep getting richer and the poor poorer... it's all about the stewardship, how you value what you've been given? Treating it like treasure rather than squandering it! It's best illustrated here...
"Then another servant came and said, 'Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth....."His master replied, 'I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! ....Why then didn't you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?'
"Then he said to those standing by, 'Take his mina away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas.'
"'Sir,' they said, 'he already has ten!'
"He replied, 'I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away." Luke 19:20-26

Time to put those shoes back in the closet!!

Me me MEEEEE time!

A couple weeks ago I was walking through the airport I had my ipod blairing into my headphones and a iced tea from starbucks in hand. I was planning on hopping on the plane and getting some serious work done...I had this down to a science. I was feeling sooo cool. Until all of a sudden my ipod just breaks...pretty much sounding like a ticking bomb about to explode. Oops.
All of a sudden I came back to reality and started asking God for ways in where I can truly be humble cause I hated that spirit of pride that can creep up so slowly.
I walked onto the plane to it sooo thankfully being close to empty! YEAH! I could have a whole row to myself! First I had to find my real seat and sit down then I could move to another spot once the doors were closed! As I headed down the aisle I was getting closer and closer to what I feared to be my seat and who I feared to be my seat buddy....
An ollllld old skinny cowboy who smelled like a keg of bear, licked his lips like the joker in Batman and was just pretty much scary!! I sat next to him in the little two seater side of the plane and waited patiently for those doors to close so I could switch seats...when all of a sudden I felt God saying to me..."no you won't! You're going to stay right here and talk to him!" As I had JUST 3 minutes early prayed for just this sort of thing...but of course I thought it was would come in a more glamorous way of course;)
But I had MY agenda! I needed my ME time! This was my last of 3 flights of the day and I was done with any human contact. I just wanted to bury my face in my work and zone everyone out...or just stretch out and sleep! Instead I talked to him the entire hour and a half flight home. At first it was sort of a drudgery...but God started opening my heart to him...and I was able to see him how God did: SOOO loved! By the end of that time I was more refreshed than even a 10 hour nap would supply! I was so energized and excited about what God was going to do in this guys life...I asked him what I could pray for him for and he lit up like a child at a candy store..I don't know if anyone had ever asked him that! He just kept thanking me for asking him that for the rest of the flight!
Sooo here..I could've chosen the ME time and gotten a little work done but probably would've been even more wiped out..but instead pouring into this guys life it beat out any kind of ME time that I could've had!
It is important to get away with God and get refreshed...I do it all the time...but when it is constantly about you...you are actually draining yourself!! It litterally depletes you! Which is sort of crazy but it's true!
Look for people and opportunities to have a little reverse ME time with!! It will refresh you...but even more THEM! Just being available with no agenda..just to listen, serve, speak and pray! Being able to set everything aside that YOU want to accomplish and just being there for them for their ME time! Try it today! You will be blown away! :)
Matt. 20:28- Just as the Son of Man came not to be waited on but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many[the price paid to set them free].

I have TOO many friends!

So my sister Natalie and I were talking the other night about friends...we both somehow seemed to have been blessed with a TON of them...
Growing up I had a solid core group of friends from church that were my best friends...we rarely fought as it was just us...we sort of had cliques but they were pretty inclusive.
Once I was 14 everything changed...We moved to a new church and with it came a new set of friends, then onto my photography business, interns, an even newer church, clients, photographers, moving to Nashville, and finally my church down here! Which now means I have friends all over the globe and hundreds of them! It is REALLY hard to keep track of everyone and to stay in touch AND to make them all feel loved because I truly do want all of that. Thank God Facebook makes that a lot easier!
Something I realized though is that the more friends you have the less the quality of time and emotion you can devote to your core group! It gets spread thin to everyone else!! Don't get me wrong...being able to help alot of people with who God's created you to be is the best...but I'm specifically talking about those you pour your heart out to...
With my sister it was getting harder and harder cause as her friend list grew each one felt like it was supposed to be almost a best friend! And no matter how hard you try you can not have 55 best friends! One of the best piece of advise that I was given a while ago was to sit down for a couple hours and write down your friend list...allll the people in your life that you would consider a friend...and pray over it...see which ones you are really supposed to pursue right now, which ones were seasonal(meaning maybe it was just for a time and now it's time to move on), which ones are best friends, friends, people that you are mentoring or is a ministry opportunity, people who are your mentors and the people that you are on the same level as(iron sharpening iron). Also, if any of those people could be considered acquaintances?? People you've met and will sometimes hang out with and talk to but wouldn't necessarily call on the phone or go out to dinner with. This helps sooo much in knowing where to devote your time!! Realize that you are not put on this earth to be everyone's best friend...but only a few...
Also...if you already are the type with just a few friends do this anyways...it helps so much in evaluating where each friendship is going...if it's uplifting or going nowhere! Also if there are acquaintances that God would like to move to friendship but you just being open!! Take some time to do this!! I KNOW I NEED TOO! :)

I can top that!

Ahhh onto more vulnerability... I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with this sort of thing..at least I hope not!
The next thing that has really come out in the past couple weeks through seeing this whole "need for validation" thing is trying to PROVE myself. Thinking welllll if they don't know me and WHO I am...then I'll just have to show them!

IT. IS. PRIDE. Yuck....I've discovered it so strongly in my life and who I am, trying to tell allll the amazing things I've accomplished, when someone tells a story trying to top it, telling where I live or who I'm related to. It all goes back to the need for validation and is so incredibly selfish. Sure maybe it inspires people, maybe helps them see more... but all it does for you is keeps inflating that balloon more and more...and balloons WILL pop eventually.
For me the times that I discover that I do it the most are when I don't know what else to talk about, I feel bad about myself, or I want to prove myself.

Ugh... it is so hard. But I have been learning soooo much lately about servanthood and humility... obviously God knows that I need it! Today I opened right up to Micah 6:8 - He has showed you Oh man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God.

The VERY best that we can do is to...1. SERVE....anywhere and everywhere we can, not to get glory for what we've done but to truly see a need and accomplish it. It get's us out of ourselves and our own self preservation and a heart after others. 2. Ask questions...get interested in others and BOOST them up! Stand firmly in who YOU are in Christ and then you are able to pull other people up there too!

We usually view talking about how great we are and boosting ourselves up as high and lofty but it's actually one of THE lowest down and out things you could do! Be a present to unwrap! Let people ask about you and then you can share....HUMBLY still but the more interested you are in others the more that it boosts THEM up, you up, and helps that little pride balloon start deflating more and more.
It is something you have to keep a check on daily, watch every word that comes out of your mouth, how many times are you saying "I"??? IIIIIIII say it a lot, I've discovered! Make most of your talk end with a question mark....that is when you will know that you aren't talking about yourself! Here is a video to perfectly sum this up!! I love you alll!