Ahhh onto more vulnerability... I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with this sort of thing..at least I hope not!
The next thing that has really come out in the past couple weeks through seeing this whole "need for validation" thing is trying to PROVE myself. Thinking welllll if they don't know me and WHO I am...then I'll just have to show them!
IT. IS. PRIDE. Yuck....I've discovered it so strongly in my life and who I am, trying to tell allll the amazing things I've accomplished, when someone tells a story trying to top it, telling where I live or who I'm related to. It all goes back to the need for validation and is so incredibly selfish. Sure maybe it inspires people, maybe helps them see more... but all it does for you is keeps inflating that balloon more and more...and balloons WILL pop eventually.
For me the times that I discover that I do it the most are when I don't know what else to talk about, I feel bad about myself, or I want to prove myself.
Ugh... it is so hard. But I have been learning soooo much lately about servanthood and humility... obviously God knows that I need it! Today I opened right up to Micah 6:8 - He has showed you Oh man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God.
The VERY best that we can do is to...1. SERVE....anywhere and everywhere we can, not to get glory for what we've done but to truly see a need and accomplish it. It get's us out of ourselves and our own self preservation and a heart after others. 2. Ask questions...get interested in others and BOOST them up! Stand firmly in who YOU are in Christ and then you are able to pull other people up there too!
We usually view talking about how great we are and boosting ourselves up as high and lofty but it's actually one of THE lowest down and out things you could do! Be a present to unwrap! Let people ask about you and then you can share....HUMBLY still but the more interested you are in others the more that it boosts THEM up, you up, and helps that little pride balloon start deflating more and more.
It is something you have to keep a check on daily, watch every word that comes out of your mouth, how many times are you saying "I"??? IIIIIIII say it a lot, I've discovered! Make most of your talk end with a question mark....that is when you will know that you aren't talking about yourself! Here is a video to perfectly sum this up!! I love you alll!
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4 comments:
Thanks for sharing this Sarah, I needed to read this! Your posts are so challenging and thought provoking!
okay, your blog is very encouraging and also challenging! I really think God speaks mighty through this!!! thanks for answering the call!
Ya know what's funny? I noticed that one of the reasons I'm so talky with new people is that I'm nervous, and I'm wanting to control their first impression of me. I have this subconscious thought that if I don't quickly, brightly, and aggressively project a positive image of myself, they'll come to a conclusion about me that I won't like. It's totally fear based and insecure and silly, no?
Ok Sarah, I know that it's not time for the "Dear Natalie" book right now, but....SOOOOOOON!!!! Yes?
oh my goodness...i would ask, "How did you know?!", but i know its the holy spirit! Gods been pointing this out to me for the past month. Pride is killer. Emotionaly and mentaly, it lands me in a pit of self-pitty and consumed in my own selfishness! Thanks so much Sarah! It seems every time i click on your blog, youre backing up EXACTLY what Jesus is teaching me at the moment :D
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